No, I’m not pregnant! I had that taken care of after number four.

On Friday, we were sitting outside smoking sheesha, watching some Dexter and someone was knocking on the door. I made Ross get it because I figured it was one of the boys friends looking to see if they could play and well, it was his turn. So he opened the door and I heard, “Oh My God!” I looked in and there was our dear friend Khalil peeking in through front door!

Khalil and his wife Amy abandoned us nearly two years ago to move to Abu Dhabi. They are such dear friends and we really, really miss them. It was an excellent surprise!! He is here for four days for work. Unfortunately Amy and their sweet little three month old Peter couldn’t make it. But it was so great seeing Khalilio! We spent the afternoon hanging out and he got to meet Griffen for the first time.

Later that evening we had dinner at the neighbor’s house, it was fantastic! He’s going to be offshore for a few days but should be back on Tuesday, hopefully early enough to hit the beach with us.

I took up running about six months ago. I never really enjoyed it before because I hated the heavy lumbering feel when wearing runners. But, this past summer I bought a pair of Vibram FiveFingers. They are so amazing, really. I never knew I could enjoy running as much as I have. These shoes give your foot full movement and flexibility. They support and protect at the same time, it’s as if you are running barefoot. I start running and feel like Hermes, just gliding across the pavement.

For the last week or so, I have been getting up at 5am and driving to the Corniche to run. They mark on the pavement every 100 meters. If you know Doha, I tend to start at the Sheraton Hotel and I jog to the Dhow Harbor, which is just about 5000 meters. By the time I turn around and run back, that totals about 6.2 miles.

The Corniche is great because the view is always different, I don’t find it so mundane as jogging around my compound. Even at 5am, there are others around and it’s good to know I’m not the only crazy one! I’ve seen lots of the same people most mornings so we wave and smile, maybe say good morning as we pass each other.

I took my camera with me this morning and unfortunately I wasn’t early enough to get the beginning of the sunrise. Yesterday it was gorgeous! Today was Friday though, the beginning of the weekend, the holy day, and I was really surprised to see how many people were up and out so early. Most weren’t even there for exercise. There were a lot of men fishing and ladies just strolling along. I think I’m seriously becoming an early bird, which I never really considered before. I’ve had a lot of great, healthy realizations about myself lately. Girl power!!

I recently find myself in need of some lifting up and what better way for a girl to do that than to recognize her worth, her value, and her purely feminine, human nature?

This is what I know:

I am VIBRANT.

The deep seeded love for life and the energy within me are what strikingly shine through my features in hues of red, green and flecks of brown.

I am pulsating.

My heart beats and I feel my blood coursing through my veins which travel the length of my vibrant body, over and over again.

I smell of herbs grown in the earth and I long to lay camouflaged in brightly colored autumn leaves.

I am thankfully, so very much alive.

I boldly resonate and linger like a good Australian shiraz.

As I got out of the car, it hit me that I was leaving my sweet, pure, innocent, sunshine personality of mom with my dark humored, broodily creative eight year old. God help us. Perrin, please, please behave yourself I thought as I ran into the store. I looked at Kilraine and said, “We have to make this quick, mom and Perrin are alone together!” She knew what I meant.

We made our exchanges and ran back to the car. Mom was waiting and as we climbed in things were a little awkwardly silent. I said in my best cheerful voice, “all done! Where to next?!” Mom goes, “well, Perrin and I have been having an interesting discussion while you were gone.” SHIT! I was like 5 minutes max?! I just said, “yeah? what about?”

“Well, apparently he wants a tattoo as soon as possible,” she said. I just laughed and said, “He has another 10 years for that because that is as soon as he will be allowed to have a tattoo.” Whew, that’s not so bad I thought. It could definitely have been worse. Then my mom looked into the rearview mirror and said to Perrin, “Perrin, tell you mom what kind of tattoo you want to have.”

Perrin got this huge pot stirring grin on his face and he goes, “Weeell, I said I wanted a picture of a rock” and he paused for a dramatic flare then very seriously, “with a dead mermaid on it.” I just burst out laughing. What tha? A dead mermaid???…THAT’S AWESOME! My mom just looked at me so seriously and said, “Kelly, he is too dark. It’s disturbing.” With that, Perrin started laughing and said excitedly from the back seat, “with flies on the side!” He is such an antagonist!!

I looked at my mom and said, “look, he’s winding you up and it’s working! You’re letting an eight year old boy wind you up! Just laugh at him, tell him it’s cool and move on.” So we did and everyone is still talking about the dead mermaid tattoo with flies on the side. My sister Christy and her husband both have tattoos and so she had asked me to have Perrin draw out his idea. This is what he came up with:

I think he likes the idea of Christy having his tattoo but at the same time, I think he’s a little hacked that he’s not 18 yet!

I find myself yearning for greener pastures, to leave Doha behind and to feel like I can sink my roots into fertile soil. I long to say “we’re home” and it mean the location that we truly call home and actually make it so.  I am growing weary of being the “Global Nomads.”

If only life were that easy. We would be trading one set of trouble for another and I guess in the long run it all comes down to priorities and I suppose reality as well. We have to make ends meet, and we have four kids to put through college. This job is what makes that happen. Some days, I just want to say “screw it” and be done here, I know Ross often thinks the same. I guess it’s a good thing he keeps me somewhat grounded to this world. Otherwise I’d probably float away on dreams and ideas and whimsical fancies.

Heaven When We’re Home: By the Wailin’ Jenny’s

I have really enjoyed this group, the Wailin’ Jenny’s. I’ve posted about a few of their songs before. I’ll type the lyrics below, but it has become my theme song over the last few months. You can listen to the song by clicking on the link above. I guess the things for me is that I may feel restless and unsettled and uncertain of life at times, but it is comforting to remind myself that all of these things are what makes me who I am. At some point, we’ll “find what we’re looking for. Then we’ll drop these bags and search no more, because it’s gonna to feel like heaven when we’re home”.

“Heaven When We’re Home”

Don’t know what time it is, I’ve been up for way too long
and I’m too tired to sleep.
I call my mother on the phone, she wasn’t home,
and now I’m wondering the street.
I’ve been a fool, I’ve been cruel to myself.
I’ve been hanging onto nothing
when nothing could be worse than hanging on
And something tells me there must be
something better than all this.

I’ve fallen many times in love and every time
it’s been with the wrong man.
Still I’m out there living one day at a time
and doing the best I can.
Cuz we’ve all made mistakes
that seem to lead us astray.
But every time they helped to get us where we are today
And that’s as a good a place as any
and it’s probably where we’re best off anyway.

It’s a long and rugged road
and we don’t now where it’s headed,
But we know it’s going to get us where we’re going.
And when we find what we’re looking for
we’ll drop these bags and search no more
‘Cuz it’s gonna to feel like heaven when we’re home
It’s going to feel like heaven when we’re home.

There’s no such thing as perfect,
and if there is we’ll fnd it when we’re good and dead.
Trust me I’ve been looking,
but tonight I think I’ll go and take a bath instead.
And then maybe I’ll walk a while
and feel the earth beneath me.
They say if you stop looking
it doesn’t matter if you find it
And whose to say that even if I did
it’s what I’m really looking for.

It’s a long and rugged road
and we don’t now where it’s headed,
But we know it’s going to get us where we’re going.
And when we find what we’re looking for
we’ll drop these bags and search no more
‘Cuz it’s gonna to feel like heaven when we’re home
It’s going to feel like heaven when we’re home.

Then we ordered some sheesha, which is usually good there, but he got my flavor wrong and the hose was dirty so I kept sucking up bits of grit and charcoal (yuck). Ross’s hose was broken so he had to hold his hand over it to get it to smoke. When we told the pipe guy, he came over, did the same thing as Ross and pretended like nothing was wrong, hahaha. It wasn’t worth the back and forth attempted discussion with his only English word being “you’re welcome” and our Arabic being not a whole lot better.

Our appetizer of moutabal came and that was good, but the waiter tried to pass the bread off as being fresh from the oven…um no, warmed in the oven maybe, but not fresh baked. I mean seriously, did we look that stupid? Well, we might have actually. We both were pretty tired and so I know we were both a bit glassy eyed and ragged. Maybe we looked worse than I thought!?

So after awhile, our meal came….it was luke warm at best. That’s not exactly the desirable temperature for seafood consumption. Give it to me raw and cold, or hot and fresh. He then made a big deal about how little we both ate and not for anything, but there was a lot of food on the plate to begin with. Even if it wasn’t luke warm, I couldn’t have eaten it all. Finally, when we asked for the check, he asked how we were going to pay? hahahaha, what? Are washing dishes an option? Just bring us the damn bill! We told him we’d pay cash, and so when he walked away to get the bill, Ross says, “hey, when he comes back, let’s hand him a credit card.” HAhahahahahahaha, he’d probably just stand there unprepared looking at us like we’d handed him luke warm fish back as payment.

All in all it was a really nice evening. The weather was beautiful, it wasn’t too crowded and so we walked to the coffee shop there to buy some beans. Then,  back home to kick back and watch a movie. Did anyone see the massive, oversized moon!? Apparently it happens once every 25 years.

“There are three intolerable things in life – cold coffee, luke warm champagne, and overexcited women”

- Orson Welles

Oh sooo true, Mr. Welles…on ALL accounts which are definitely some of my own personal pet peeves. But I have to ask, what about under excited men? Overexcited women are just obnoxious. But nothing bursts a girls bubble faster than their man knowing they are excited about something and the one person they are dying to share their excitement with couldn’t care less. “Ouch” is all I can say to that. Not just intolerable, but hurtful. I don’t think that men understand how much we women depend on our emotions and feelings to gauge how happy and gratifying our lives are…not the bank account, or job success or material possessions, but how we FEEL.

Yesterday, someone sent me a link to Men’s Health Magazine and it was an article titled “50 Things Men Wish Women Knew”. Seriously, I don’t know why I read this crap but more than anything, the comments were hilarious. If you go to see the whole list, you have to read the comments. I had my own thoughts actually and figured I’d post about it because as I woke up this morning, it was still on my mind. I think mainly because I found a few of them rude but also, a few of them pretty good. So my responses to these aren’t really indicative of my own life experiences, but for most women in general.

50 Things Men Wish Women Knew: highlights

2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.

- a not so subtle hint that we should exercise more?

3. Bare, tan shoulders are underated.

- and so is skin cancer.

6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.

- fair enough, but so is buying beer

7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me – once.

- then admit to your screw up, apologize, and you won’t have to hear about it anymore.

8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I’m inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.

- no child need ever to come knocking, whining, screaming, tattling, or asking questions through a closed bathroom door if I’m inside…especially if you are home and in the same room with them.

9. I’m hot for you, not your sister or your friend or a coworker (or his computer)

-  then act like it.

10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.

- this is interesting because one woman posted: “This is sooooo true. Wish I had known, and really noticed he had no friends before we married. He doesnt do things with the guys except maybe work on something with his brothers. He is not a good friend to me and now I know why. This should be something you take a close look at.”

11. Don’t be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.

- hahaha, I don’t think that men realize how much “natural” is actually at least a little bit of make up. I keep thinking of Emperor Kusko’s description of Eesma  as being “scary beyond all reason” in the movie Emperor’s New Groove. I’d say that as with most things, moderation is good.

12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain’t pretty.

- neither is a unibrow…again with the moderation.

13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.

- for more women than one would probably think, that goes both ways. Check on the comments for this one. There was a Time Magazine article awhile back about “male low libido“

16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.

- hot, is all I can say. consider it encouraged!

17. There’s no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.

- I know some who would think you preferred the clacking of your keyboard.

21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren’t looking for the truth anyway.

- works for me. I’ll ask my girlfriends if I want the truth. If I ask you, it’s because I am looking for a compliment, a confirmation that you find me attractive.

22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.

- ouch! That’s just rude and if  most men seriously think that, I think I’d prefer to be alone. There are some interesting comments on this one.

24. If I offer my help while you’re getting ready, it means you’re late.

- First thought…what an asshole. Especially if you have kids, how about you offer your help in general and we wouldn’t have to worry about being late.

27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.

- nice.

29. When you call us at work “just to chat,” we’re not really listening; we’re checking our e-mail.

- fair enough. I try not to bother Ross at work, it’s just as distracting for me when he calls and I’m in the middle of something…only half listening. Best to save it for after hours.

33. We love ponytails.

- hahahaaha, so do little girls. Actually, I found this one pretty amusing. I mean, my hair goes up into a pony tail when it’s dirty and I have a day of manual labor that requires hair needing to be tied up. Definitely not a sexy attempt on my part. Would be interested in hearing more men’s opinions about this one.

34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.

- back at cha.

36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.

- hmmm, this one is probably 50 – 50 for men I would guess. I personally love the excitement of a random grope from my man, especially discretely in public. But I know lots of men who are not fans of PDA. My man being one of them. Not a big deal, just sayin’

37. Make us laugh and we’ll want to hang around

- pay attention to us, make us feel good and we’ll feel like making you laugh.

41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words “naked” and “waiting.”

- again, I know lots of women who would think, “if only it were that easy.” That’s not meant as a slam on men who aren’t mindless sex machines, it’s just saying it’s not always that easy so I don’t think this one should be on here.

42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.

- sweet. Now if only men would verbally express that one thing, we probably wouldn’t need this list at all.

Well, the morning started off pretty well. I was tired and thought that maybe Ross would get up with Griffen, but apparently he was more tired than I was because he was snoring and didn’t even twitch to Griffen’s morning “come get me” yells. So I hauled myself up, changed a really nasty diaper, did some dishes, made coffee, put some cinnamon rolls in the oven, fed the kids and then finally sat down to some coffee and emails. Pretty much a normal, every day morning.

What makes me think that all of that work first thing on the morning of my birthday was a pretty good morning?  I was greeted by my three older boys with this song from Phineas and Ferb! I had been teasing them all week about it, telling them this is what I wanted to hear and they had to sing it to me. I didn’t think they’d actually do it! We have it on our itunes along with many other Phineas and Ferb hits (haha) so they turned it on, sang and did the little “shooby-doobie” back up singers dance. I’d have video taped it but they made it clear that if I did, they’d stop because they weren’t about to be caught singing a “girl” song, hahaha.

Afternoon Post:

What a fantastic afternoon. This is probably one of the best birthday’s I have had as a wife and mom. I haven’t really done anything all day! Ross took the boys out this morning and they came back with a lovely arrangement of flowers and a mango cake (cake pics later when we dig in.) The boys said they each had a different flower arrangement picked out and Ross made them play Rock, Paper, Scissors for the winner. I got Perrin’s pick and they’re just lovely. You know, they could be dead and hideous and I’d still love them.

So after the flowers, Ross swept up the back garden from the several days worth of sandstorms that we’ve had and then put together our outdoor set-up. Before I knew it I had my knitting, a perfect gin and tonic, some sheesha and have spent the rest of the day just kicking back and doing sweet F-all!

Evening Post:

The boys are all in bed, tucked in, and kissed. I’ve had a wonderful day. We ended it with ordering from one of my favorite restaurants, Thai Snack, for dinner and had a delicious piece of Mango cake. My men are awesome!

They have been on a role recently with their little minds working at full tilt and their creativity and witticisms just blow me away sometimes. Quite often though, I find it’s the pure simplicity and innocence of a child that find me laughing and in awe of how amazing these boys really are.

Okay, so three things come to mind recently that have given me a good, hearty laugh and here they are:

1. We were at dinner the other night and were talking about stray animals. It came up because Bergen asked Ross if he bought our dear ole’ Wheasy from his  Aunt Bonny and he said, “no, she was a stray.” And the Cashion says, “well didn’t you have to pay money for her?” And so then Ross asked them what they thought of when they heard the word “stray cat” and I’m certain that he and I are thinking along the lines of words such as “homeless.” Perrin just looked up from his plate for a second and said with a big grin, “ring worm”.

2. This morning at breakfast I broke the news to the boys that we weren’t going to Myrtle Beach anymore with my parents. It’s too cold, can’t swim, gas prices are too high in the states right now, so on and so forth. BUT, I informed them that we were going to spend three days at an indoor waterpark resort with them instead. Bergen and Perrin start whooping and carrying on and Cashion just sort of looked up at me, a little disappointed and said with a big sigh, “It’s too bad we can’t go to Vegas.” HAHAHA, what the hell? I don’t think he even knows where Vegas is. So I said, yeah, I think you’ll enjoy the waterpark more than Vegas. As I went back into the kitchen to fix breakfast, the boys are still going on about Vegas and Bergen says, “Cashion, you’re too little to gamble and it’s full of women who aren’t dressed very nicely.” My jaw dropped, where did my 10 year old learn about gambling and prostitutes?!

3. Yesterday I was cleaning the house and got the scraper out to scrape off some candle wax from the table. I’d set the scraper aside and was cleaning up the wax when Perrin came over and picked it up. He goes, “OH! I know what this is for!” I looked up and said, “yeah?” He said, “yeah, back in the old days, people used it (he lifts up his shirt to expose his ribs) to scrape off the mushrooms growing on them because they never bathed!” He  scraped up his side while making the most horrific, agonizing face.

“There are lives I can imagine without children. But none of them have the same laughter & noise.”

- Brian Andreas